New Poem-All around me

Yes, i know the title sounds like flyleaf, but i had that song in my head when I wrote this............in my head. LOL! For the first 3 parts anyway. Its not done yet, but its really pretty and i wanted to post it up. So here it is. Enjoy! Ill post the rest when it is finished.

All around me
There you are
You never turn back
Your never too far

My heart is on fire
Feels like its burning
Its the feeling of love
Cause its you im serving

Blessing after blessing
Time after time
Im so glad that
Your love is mine

My heart is racing
Hard to breath
My hands up to you
I never want to leave

Your love is like living
For the very first time
Watching me step by step
To make sure im fine

I gave you my soul
I gave you my life
I gave you my sin
And i know its right.

poem-"i now know who i am"

i wrote this cause of something im going thru now. But the poem has nothing to do with what im going thru. so enjoy! :)

I thought i was so weak
But God told me I am strong
I thought i was a mistake
And God proved me wrong.
I thought I was no one
God said i am his child
I thought i was alone
But God was there all the while
I thought He was a lie
Now He is my life till I die
I thought heaven was not real
until God showed me the real deal.
I lived in chaos each and every day
till God showed me all His ways
And when I fall short to the way of men
God has a way of lifting me up again
God saved me and Im free
He can do it to you, just believe
And before you know it, when time is right
He'll come and take you in, with all of his might!

IM BACK! I mean my old self with Christ is back.

O wow. Why is it......or HOW is it, that we get our minds so off God, that we are not who we are anymore. I had been so far from God, even when I was in Junaluska. I was not with God....like with with God. I had been doing something that I really should not have been doing. I wanted to stop, but i just enjoyed it too much. And I knew I had a problem. But something God did just showed how powerful He is. I had this really bad dream that just freaked me out!!! I was crying about it like nuts cause i could not get one part of the dream out of my head. Like it would just keep playing in my head. And im sure that its something NO ONE wants to keep thinking about, or would want to keep seeing over and over again. So as im crying i was praying for God to take it out of my hands. I was praying for God to take away my dream and not to think about it again. Next morning and today, i have not thought about it. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!? Today in church, i almost did not go, the paster talked about taking away things in your life that you dont need. And what i was doing, was something i did not need. I prayed and almost cried asking God to forgive me of it and i said that thru Him i could stop. Just like the dream stoped coming back to me. Soo yea. Im back to myself and it feels great. Ive missed the Lord so much! SO thats my little tidbit of the day. LOL! God bless!

Lake Junaluska,,,,,,its over. :(

Well, my AWESOME week at Junaluska is over. It was AWESOME~!!!!!!!! I just loved it up there. Tuesday was the talent show and it rocked! And thanks to God, so did I!!!! It was awesome being up on that stage singing! Wensday, there was an orgen concert.....was not that exciting for me. Now Thrusday ticked me off. It started off good with the rehersing for the concert. Then we had alot of time for ourselves. Then the concert came and that was awesome. Then it was time for the youth dance. Now they got my email of songs i wanted played, and they played them....when there was only 5 people there! Then it was back to everyone elses music when everyone was there. Then get this.....Soldja boy started playing. Witch i got kinda mad at but danced to it with my version of it in my head...refusing to sing that stupid version. Then i heard all the cuss words in the song! The DJ was stupid enough to play that song.....AND WITH THE CUSS WORDS!!!!!! I almost went off on him but i just let it go. A few more songs played, some of the line dance songs that we all like. Then i could not believe the song that came next, and everyone was singing and danceing to. The song "I kissed a girl" comes blaring thru the speakers and EVERYONE is singing it. I ran out of the room in disblife! Like this is a CHRISTIAN retreat and this is the kind of music we pick to play for kids 10 to 19 to listen to!? I went off on the DJ then. I asked him why he played it. He said someone requested it. And i told him i did not think that was the kind of music to be played in a christian envioment. He told me that if i were to pay him, he would play some "Chrisitan envirment music". I was like...UGH!!!!!!!! And went back to my hotel room. I hated it! But that was really the only BAD thing about it.

Life is Good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is so good right now! Im on the tird floor, sitting in a rocking chair looking at the mountains from the balcany. How much sweeter can life get!!!!!!! Well Junaluska is turning out to be better then the past two years i have been here. I guess thrid times a charm. LOL! The paster talked today about God invading your personal space. How we are always in our comfert zone, our own little space. But how God has other plan for us. To get out of our comfert zone, so he invades our space by getting us to new places. This lession was very powerful for me. This one song we are doing kinda fits that tone of the sermen called "Go light your world". Its just really pretty! Thats my favorit of the 6 songs we are doing. I really feel the Holy Sprit moving in me! Giving my voice to go higher then a 2 sapraano! lol. To like a 1st................and thats HIGH!!!!!! lol! So yea im having alot of fun here. I met up with an online firend and that was sweet! She came over here, we played pool, and we went back to my hotel room and we just hing out for a few hours. Im hoping to see her again this week before we go back to where we live. God is just so cool on how He can take a girl from Cali, and a girl from Florida, and put them in the same state, same town, same week. How awesome is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And God is just so powerful! I just love the view of the mountions that i have! I love,love , love love love love love love love LOVE the view here!!!!!! Good thing its only monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cause im not ready to leave this!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, thats all i have for you now! Gonna see a drama thing tonight! ITs gonna be SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bye and God bless......love you all!

Sweet Home Junaluska!

"Sweet home Junaluska, where the lake is so blue. Sweet home Junaluska, im acoming back to you!" Yes the time is here to go to Lake Junaluska in North Carolina!!!!! I am super excited! I love that place so much! I just hope i can be more at peace with God this year then i was last year. Its so pretty, the lake, the smoky mountions, the fog when you wake up in the morning, the.....EVERYTHING!!!!!! Im hoping to have alot of time with God while im there. So many spots to pick from! LOL! Plus we have the talent show and the concert! AW MAN! I need to write about Junaluska every day! Yes i will have my laptop with me so i will keep you updated! Im just so excited! We just finished packing, Brandons gonna have an air card for me and him so i can be online while in the car on the road. And i cant wait to see old friends again. Plus an online friend my family and I are gonna meet up with! This is gonna be the best vacation EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Any way, who ever may read this before tomorrow, please pray for a safe trip and same fun. need to do a few things then go to sleep! Good night everyone!

Journal......................

i had no idea it would be so painful to fill up a journal!!!!! LOL! I had this one journal for a year. And its been thru everything with me. the laughs, joy,tears,up times and so on and so forth. And i just filled up the last page today!!!!!!!!!!! So yea. I never really understood why people wrote in a journal untill i got one. Now im on the serch for a new journal that i can fill with my up and down times, my prayers, my laughs, joys, sorrows, and everything else. I just love having a journal that you can just write everything in when something is wrong. Your deepest thoughts are safe in writing and no one can see them. I was looking thru the pages of my journal before i put it on my bookshelf, i saw all the up times with God i had, the times i was really down, the first draft poems, the randomness, the things that friends put on one page while i was not looking, untill i caught them and almost raised hell. lol...........good times. You know, in a way, i think your jouranl is your best friend! IT knows everything about you! So this blog is for my filled up journal!!! Im gonna miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!