Break free from the chains.

How cool is that!? Im free from the chains that were making me upset and making me cry all the time! I had such low self image that i did not feel myself, i was not acting like myself, heck, i thought at times i did not LOOK like myself. I was at church doing another VBS, and durring break I went to the worship center, went to the cross, got down on my knees and started crying out everything. And i ended up doing the same thing in a friends office ( she works there. You know who u are who is reading this) I felt so bad about myself, i had thoughts of just not eating, but i know already that is stupid. I would never do so, but thats how bad it all got. I had looked into the mirror and I saw something else. IT was not me. I saw myself with a long,pale face and a look of evil/depressuon on my face. It was not me, I was crying and praying for God to help me see me......the REAL me. The ME that he made ME to be. And I had Jenny ( my church friend) praying for me. Jenny, if your reading this, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH! Cause today I feel great. Like how great is that! Im smiling and singing VBS songs and i tried on 1 outfit for tomorrow, instend of 10 of how this all started. And i know how im gonna do my hair and all, i just feel so much better about myself. I had 2 people praying hard for me, and the next day im free from the chains of low self image. Im free! I no longer have the devil telling me any different. Cuase I am made in Christs liking and i know that im perfect in His eyes. Cuase what he makes, are no mistake, so i know that I, and everything about me, are not mistakes, but are there for a reason! Thank you so much Lord Jesus for freeing me from these chains! Your power is so amazing! I LOVE YOU LORD JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Office Life...........

OMGOSH!!!! Let it be closing time already!!! This is boring! My grandmother thought i should havea bit of office training so now im working in her office and i am bored! Im talking with the person who is helping me but now shes been working for quite a while and theres nothing for me to do here. SO.....Thought i would update my blog now huh? Well, after closing, im hoping to go change into some REAL clothes, cause i have office stuff on right now. I want to change into my cargo pants and my gray "Hii saved me" shirt and go bowling with the youth group and my sissy as well. OF CORSE she is comming. She goes to everything with me! lol. SO yea. Im not really excited for school yet but i miss friends. My summer has been mostly un eventfull as you can tell cause im not updating my blog every day like i had been. I got my ipod updated with all my music so im happy for that. And one thing that got me really mad today, was that i asked my mom to trim my bangs, and she said she did not want too, she was scared to mess it up, so i asked my dad who has a stedy hand to cut them. So he did.......it was a perfect cut, it was just way too short!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so pissed off right now!!!!!!! Im gonna wear a hat when i go bowling cause i cant take this headband hiding it much longer! Ill have to take a pic of it soon so you guys can see how badly my dad messed up my hair. I told him that he owes me BIG TIME. And i mean BIG BIG BIG time! He started off with giving me $20. But thats not enough. I swear, i cant believe how bad i look!!!!! And im stuck like this for a while. Good thing i dont have Seinor Pictures any time soon. THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!!!!! So yea.....besides that, im doing good, Looking foward to the new BarlowGirl Ablum called Love and War. THe first song out is so beautiful! i love it so much! I cant wait to hear the rest......im so excited. Well im gonna go now. God bless you all. bye bye! :)

Freak-A-Thon/Baseball game/Village people concert....YMCA!

Yea. I hada busy day and i have no idea why im still up. But anyway. I did the Freak a thon for 22 hours. So that was alot of fun. My parents made me take a nap before i went to the game so i did that.( fast foward to the game) LETS GO MARLINS LETS GO! (clap clap) is what i was chanting most of the time. THE GAME ROCKED! But we lost. :(. But they played one heck of a game. They were losing, then caught up. Then tied up just as the 9th ended!!!!!!!!! So were all chanting and screaming all over the place durring the 10th. But the Cubs got a home run and thats what lost us. But it was still fun. THEN...we had the village people concert. The Village people were the ones to bring you "Maucho man" and the all favorite dance song "YMCA" And that was just a blast. I went to bed at 2 in the morning.....only to get up at 7. Got to love it right. Its 2:15 now and i have no idea why i am still up. lol. I guess its like the other night, Im fully awake but my brain is dead. Im fixing so many typos as i go along here. Anyway, im gonna try to sleep. Night!

30 hour "Freak-A-Thon" for FaithFreaks.

FAITHFREAKS ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love the site!!!!!!! And they need money to keep running. SOOOOOOO They are having a 30 hour radio thing going on as a fund raiser. SO Im doing 24 hours of it. I would do 30 but im going to a baseball game today. ANYWAY! Its been 14 hours in the chatroom and calling the station to request songs anf play games. ITs alot of fun. Im FULLY awake but my brain is DEAD!!!!!!!!!!! IM surpised i can write this! ITs about sun rise time right now, im by the window. I may go outside in a bit to see the sun rise. We are having alot of fun going crazy with eachother on the site. We are all going nuts. Talking about Llamas and frogs and food and random facts. But hey, whatever keeps us up and awake. We are having alot of good laughs and food fights and sharing of food and soda going on( all in a cahtroom.....who would have thought!) so yea......im gonna go watch the sun rise now! BYE BYE!

New Poem-All around me

Yes, i know the title sounds like flyleaf, but i had that song in my head when I wrote this............in my head. LOL! For the first 3 parts anyway. Its not done yet, but its really pretty and i wanted to post it up. So here it is. Enjoy! Ill post the rest when it is finished.

All around me
There you are
You never turn back
Your never too far

My heart is on fire
Feels like its burning
Its the feeling of love
Cause its you im serving

Blessing after blessing
Time after time
Im so glad that
Your love is mine

My heart is racing
Hard to breath
My hands up to you
I never want to leave

Your love is like living
For the very first time
Watching me step by step
To make sure im fine

I gave you my soul
I gave you my life
I gave you my sin
And i know its right.

poem-"i now know who i am"

i wrote this cause of something im going thru now. But the poem has nothing to do with what im going thru. so enjoy! :)

I thought i was so weak
But God told me I am strong
I thought i was a mistake
And God proved me wrong.
I thought I was no one
God said i am his child
I thought i was alone
But God was there all the while
I thought He was a lie
Now He is my life till I die
I thought heaven was not real
until God showed me the real deal.
I lived in chaos each and every day
till God showed me all His ways
And when I fall short to the way of men
God has a way of lifting me up again
God saved me and Im free
He can do it to you, just believe
And before you know it, when time is right
He'll come and take you in, with all of his might!

IM BACK! I mean my old self with Christ is back.

O wow. Why is it......or HOW is it, that we get our minds so off God, that we are not who we are anymore. I had been so far from God, even when I was in Junaluska. I was not with God....like with with God. I had been doing something that I really should not have been doing. I wanted to stop, but i just enjoyed it too much. And I knew I had a problem. But something God did just showed how powerful He is. I had this really bad dream that just freaked me out!!! I was crying about it like nuts cause i could not get one part of the dream out of my head. Like it would just keep playing in my head. And im sure that its something NO ONE wants to keep thinking about, or would want to keep seeing over and over again. So as im crying i was praying for God to take it out of my hands. I was praying for God to take away my dream and not to think about it again. Next morning and today, i have not thought about it. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!? Today in church, i almost did not go, the paster talked about taking away things in your life that you dont need. And what i was doing, was something i did not need. I prayed and almost cried asking God to forgive me of it and i said that thru Him i could stop. Just like the dream stoped coming back to me. Soo yea. Im back to myself and it feels great. Ive missed the Lord so much! SO thats my little tidbit of the day. LOL! God bless!